Shattered Confidence
by finalwish
Summary: She didn't like him in that way, did she? He had hurt her feelings in some way, hadn't he? But why would she cry? She could've said a straight out no and he would've been happy with that. Happier than to see her cry . . . [Hoennshipping, oneshot]


**Shattered Confidence**

Another Hoennshipping story! Something to keep my mind on Hoennshipping. .:sweatdrop:. And a break from my other stories which I'm too lazy to update . . . 'cause school is killing me! And because I'm lazy. XD Something to keep you guys busy . . .

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon.**

Enjoy!

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_I can do this, I can do this . . . _

The self-motivating words replayed over and over in his mind. _I can do this, I can do this . . . _He needed to do it. He wanted to do it. His feelings were burning and swelling up inside of him like the pressure that built up inside a volcano before it exploded. He had held it in for too long; he couldn't take it anymore. He needed to know if she felt the same way.

_Gotta do this, gotta do this . . ._

The teenager smoothed down his snow white hair and adjusted his headband. What had made him so nervous? He wasn't the type that got all desperate and frantic over these types of things. But pressure, he guessed, could do these kinds of things to you. He had to stay calm and collected and act casual, but not too casual, or else it would come out weirdly. He didn't want to sound like a freak in front of her.

_Have to do this, have to do this . . . _

He straightened up his red and black colored sweatshirt. Did he look too neat and formal? Would his tidiness clash with his casual approach and ruin his moment? _Why am I even worrying about these things? _It was just a simple question, that's all. Did he really have to get all worked up over it? And anyway, what if she rejected him? Would it even matter then?

"I'm doing this at my own risk," the trainer murmured bitterly to himself. Sweat lined his forehead. His mind was filling with negative thoughts. _What if she doesn't feel the same way? What if I act like a maniac in front of her? What if I **make **her think that I'm an idiot?_

He tried to calm himself by thinking of other self-motivating phrases. _You can do this . . . She won't reject you. She likes you, she likes you . . ._

His eyebrows furrowed. _And that's exactly what I'm trying to find out! _

He hated to make himself more hopeful of the results.

But he wanted her, wanted her to feel the same way. He wanted it so badly. He wanted to look into her deep blue eyes with adoration and to hold her close without any hesitation. He wanted to run his strong fingers over her silky chestnut hair and be able to have someone to love and look out for.

She was the beautiful young maiden from Petalburg City with a beautiful personality to match. She was gentle, kind, open-minded and optimistic. Just seeing her – gazing into those angelic eyes – warmed his soul and made his heart leap forward.

And her voice was sweet – not sugary sweet like a vain girl's, but sweet like the kindness she was made up of. Hearing it made even the coldest days seem warm and could lift his spirits in the worst of times. And then his cheeks would tint a light pink . . .

He began to flush at the thoughts of her. It had to be expected that he wasn't the only one who had his eyes on her. But all he hoped was that he wouldn't be the last to tell her.

He placed an unsteady foot in front of the other. She was just around the corner. He couldn't wait to see her face again . . .

_You can do this, Brendan, _he thought to himself, breathing in deeply. _You can do it . . ._

Ruby eyes flickering, he slowly made his way around the cold brick wall, to where she was standing . . .

_Alone._

Blood rushed to his cheeks as soon as he caught sight of her. The glowing sapphire eyes, the sleek brown hair, the angelic features . . . He looked down out of embarrassment.

She smiled at him, clasping her delicate hands together. "Hi, Brendan," she greeted, her voice warm as always. The ends of her red and white bandanna flapped in the passing breeze. "What're you doing here?"

Brendan looked up, blushing furiously. "M-May . . ."

Mentally, he slapped himself. Since when had he become so accustomed to stuttering? Especially now. The last thing he wanted was for her to think of him as an idiot before he had a chance to tell her his feelings.

She cocked her head, a look of genuine concern spreading over her face. "Yes, Brendan? What's wrong?" Her smile became a frown. Brendan glared at the ground – in place of himself, for making her worry.

"May . . . I . . . I want to tell you something." His face became redder with each word.

Her cerulean eyes shined. "Oh really?" she asked, beaming. "What is it?"

He began to sweat. Now was his moment! He had to do everything just right. No stuttering, no stupid comments . . . everything had to fall exactly into place. She had to get the message exactly as it came out.

". . . I like you as more than a friend."

A small grin tugged at his lips, but he forced himself to keep a straight face. He had done it! _Straight out and plain, but at least she got the point. At least, I hope so. _The pressure inside him faded into nothingness, and he almost felt lighter. He looked upward towards her deep blue pools and waited for a response.

His heart pounded in his chest rapidly as his whole body tensed up. What would she say? Sweat beaded his neck and his crimson eyes glittered hopefully.

May remained silent, staring into space with her face expressionless. She was biting her lower lip to prevent it from trembling, but tears were building up in her beautiful ocean orbs. Right away, Brendan sensed something was wrong. She didn't feel the same thing for him . . . or did she?

"May?" he asked, his voice filled with concern. He clenched his right fist nervously. "Are . . . are you okay?" Why would his words make her cry? And they didn't look like tears of joy either . . .

The brunette shook her head, but he could clearly see that the tears were beginning to fall. "It's nothing," she murmured, her voice quavering as she brushed an arm over her face. "D-don't worry about me."

Brendan's face fell. She didn't like him in that way, did she? He had hurt her feelings in some way, hadn't he? But why would she cry? She could've said a straight out "no" and he would've been happy with that. Happier than to see her cry . . .

"There's something wrong," he persisted, trying to keep his voice firm. "Please tell me. I hurt your feelings, didn't I? I'm sorry . . ."

This got May's attention. She perked up and looked at him solemnly with radiant sapphire eyes. "No. It's not your fault," she cried. The tears were rolling faster down her cheeks. "I . . . I'm the one who should be sorry!"

She buried her head into her hands and began to sob silently. Brendan stared at her with a concerned, miserable look. What had she done that would make her cry like that?

He stepped closer to her crying figure. The sky was beginning to get cloudy as a dark gray blocked out the sun. "May . . ."

She jerked up immediately. "Brendan . . . I don't want to hurt you!" she wept, backing away. "But I . . . I'm already with somebody else! I'm sorry!"

The white-haired trainer froze. His jaw dropped and his ruby eyes widened. She had been with another person all along? And it had managed to slip by his notice?

". . . What?" He tried to keep his voice calm, but inside, he was swelling up with sadness and despair. How could he have been so stupid? She had made herself cry . . . but now she was going to make him cry as well. He could already feel the hot tears building up in his crimson irises.

_Have I gone through all this for nothing? _

But more than anything else, he was angry. Why hadn't she told him anything about this "person" she was with? Why had she made him become attached to her? Why had she made him get hurt so badly when it all could've been solved beforehand with a few simple sentences?

_Why, why, why?_

Suddenly, he felt he had been wrong. So terribly wrong. She wasn't worth the effort. She wasn't worth anything. Nothing. She wasn't worth his affections. He didn't want to be with someone like _that, _someone who hid things from him, someone who was stupid enough to cry in front of him because of something _she _had done.

Pain stabbed at his heart and he closed his eyes. He had been prepared for rejection after he told her, but not the type of rejection he was experiencing. It hurt worse than anything he had ever felt before. It was tearing him apart. She had placed a deep wound inside of him that he felt would never heal.

May sniffed and managed to fix a brave and serious look at him. "I-I'm not what you think, Brendan," she said gravely. "I'm not as kind as I appear to be. I'm more than just the optimistic girl you see. I'm . . ." Her voice trailed off as the unknown tears began rolling down her cheeks. Why was she crying? She hadn't had feelings for him before . . .

All of this new information boggled his mind. Confusion and chaos engulfed him as he tried to figure out what was right and what was wrong. She had been wrong, but they hadn't been lovers or anything of the sort. She wasn't logically wrong. She didn't do anything wrong. It was his fault for not telling her earlier.

But for some reason, he felt a strong feeling of betrayal . . .

Unable to withstand the confusion and pain any longer, Brendan bolted away with hot tears streaming down his cheeks. Even after all that had happened, he was still too tough to let anyone see him cry. He didn't want to cry, but his spirits had been lowered so much that it didn't seem like he had a choice. The tears wouldn't stop.

_Damn! To hell with this whole thing!_

He could see the lake ahead of him. Its beautiful, crystal clear waters lapped gently in waves against the edge. A few Pokémon lived in the bushes around it, and Brendan loved to go there when he wanted to be alone. It provided peace and tranquility, making it the perfect place to be when he needed to think.

His claret eyes darted back and forth desperately as he searched for his favorite spot, the tallest and oldest oak tree by the lake. When he was younger, he had liked to climb it, but now, all he needed was the shade and comfort it provided.

A pair of Zigzagzoons were running towards the lake side by side, their brown eyes glittering as they cried eagerly for water. The female stopped to catch its breath, but urged the male to go on. But the other refused and waited for it, until they both ran on and quenched their thirsty throats.

Brendan wished that it could be the same for him and May. He wanted to be by her side everyday, every minute. But he knew that his wish could never become reality.

_Because she already has someone. Someone else by her side, someone else to be with . . ._

He was so jealous of that someone.

He ran as fast as he could towards the shade of the old oak tree, crying the entire way. When he got there, he gladly slumped down against the strong trunk and sobbed silently to himself.

It wasn't like him to cry, but now, it really wasn't the time to act tough.

When he was fifteen-years-old, his father had told him something. _Love has many sides. It can be happy and simple. It can be sad and tragic. Or it can be painful, but in the end, everything goes well. Remember that love has its risks, too._

He knew that he had just taken the sad and tragic path of love. He had taken the risk, but he didn't know that rejection would be this painful. Especially the type of rejection May had handed him.

"I remember . . ." Brendan whispered, stopping his crying for a moment. _Some foreign word I heard before meant "hurt" or "ow". But it also meant love . . ._

His face went serious. He had just dawned on something.

_No pain, no love . . ._

.:cries:. That was the most tragic story I've ever written! Ever! So sad . . . .:sniffs:.

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BTW, that "foreign word" was actually a Chinese word, "tung". Yep, it means "hurt", "ow", and love.

Well, please review and tell me what you think about it!


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